I recently stumbled across this gem while browsing through a used book store. It was tucked away in the self-help section among a plethora of guides on how to lose weight, and other ridiculous subjects which don’t require books to be written about them. There is absolutely no reason I would have been interested in a book like this, but I had a sneaking suspicion it might be worth my time to see just how much stupid crap was packed into it. Here’s the Amazon summary of this title:

Everyone – from your mother to your boyfriend – is always telling you who you are and who you should be. But who are you, really, and who do you really want to be? New Graduate; Dollarless Diva; Worker Bee; Party Girl; Body-Conscious Babe; Chameleon; Crisis Chick; Ms. Independence; Wirl (half woman/half girl); True You. In The 10 Women You’ll Be Before You’re 35, author Alison James takes you on a journey of self-discovery – from wide-eyed ingenue to the real woman you were born to become. You’ll learn how to finesse each phase with poise – experimenting with abandon but ultimately keeping only what perfectly fits the True You. With The 10 Women You’ll Be Before You’re 35, you’ll dare to become the woman you never dreamed you could be!

If you look closely, you’ll realize that “happily married” and “mother to children” are nowhere to be found in this woman’s guide for the stages in your life.

There’s The Dollarless Diva, whose look is “consistent and unsophisticated, a bit worn,” or The Worker Bee, whose life goal is “to accomplish every task, on time, perfectly.” The Party Girl, The Body-Conscious Babe and Crisis Chick also receive their due, but in the end, all women wind up at The True You stage by their mid-30s, at least according to this book.

Now I obviously have no intention of sitting there reading this entire book, but I’m curious as to what happens when these women reach “The True You” stage at 35. Is this when they’re supposed to magically finish being emotionally damaged and ready to settle down? If so, men everywhere have some bad news for you… You’re too old now. We’re well aware that you spend your youth going out and having your fun, as this is something which you can quite clearly read about in the page of the book I took a photo of.

I don’t know if this book is intended to be strictly for humor purposes, but it seems like the kind of feminist garbage which is corrupting the minds of young women trying to find their purpose in life. Women need to ask themselves what they intend to do when they follow advice like this and end up unmarried at 35 with no men lining up to commit to them. You’re not even passed the mid-point in your life. Do you see yourself living alone in your small apartment and working in an office cubicle for the next 50 years, wondering where all the good men are? Women need to make plans for their future while they’re still young, and live their lives accordingly.