This question seems to be the running joke when it comes to women talking about their issues with dating. If you find yourself in the “soon-to-be cat lady” area of social media apps such as TikTok, you might notice this question is asked over and over by women crying over the fact they’ve been pump-n-dumped yet again by a guy out of their league. The faces are always different but the song remains the same… Where are all the good men?

The question itself bothers me as it implies men are overwhelmingly the problem in this equation, with women taking absolutely no accountability in their repeated attempts to chase the bad boys and narcissists. As studies have shown, it is estimated that 80% of women go after only 20% of men. This is more recently believed to be closer to 95% chasing the 5% with the advent of online dating. The delusional standards set by modern women essentially eliminate an enormous portion of the male population, yet it’s somehow expected that every woman is deserving of a top 5% man of her dreams. To point out the absolute absurdity of this will get you labelled as a misogynist, or any other level of anti-male rhetoric angry feminists spew in retaliation. Additionally, men are shamed if they attempt to turn the question around. As a man, I’m apparently not allowed to ask “where are all the good women who didn’t participate in college gang-bangs?”

Our current dating climate treats relationships and people as disposable, and modern women find themselves in these “situationships” as they chase men who have no intention of committing. The bizarre mentality of this approach is showing us that modern women would rather be just another option for a top level man instead of in a healthy relationship with a man on their level. Women continuously complain about the way they’re being treated, yet will do nothing to alter their own behavior as this would require introspection and accountability. The “dual-mating strategy” practiced by modern women provides some insight as to why this behavior is common and even encouraged by others.

So, where are all the good men? Everywhere. They never actually went anywhere. The “good men” these modern women are claiming to want have become invisible, and may have even withdrawn entirely from the dating market in part due to the frustration of being ignored. The previously mentioned 80/20 rule (now the 95/5 rule) reveals that modern women show no attraction to most men. A culture of hookups and casual sex has inflated the sense of worth in women as they equate being intimate with a man out of their league as a new standard which all men must now meet, whether or not she is actually deserving of such men. A woman who can be considered average at best will now maintain a set of requirements which only an extremely narrow percentage of men meet, simply because one such man was perhaps bored on a Tuesday night and wanted an easy hookup.

I believe our society has been poisoned by the advancements of technology, and healthy human relationships have been replaced with the toxic consumption of degenerate behavior. The abundance of choice seems to have triggered FOMO, or Fear Of Missing Out, as modern women continue to drive up their body-count with no consideration as to its affect on mental health. The current wave of feminism outright lies to modern women, promising they will “have it all” and should never settle for less than they deserve. Men find themselves without quality partners and are now opting out of marriage or even dating altogether. More men are choosing to go their own way (MGTOW) and solely focus on their own happiness. There is no easy fix, and I expect we’re going to witness the decline of western society as marriage and birth rates continue to fall. The good men have stopped caring.